I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
