it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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