If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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