I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
