five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
