I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
