We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
