yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
