halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
