When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
