3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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