she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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