don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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