Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize