dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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