Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
