legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
