I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
