she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
