he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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