Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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