i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
