im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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