Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
