just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
