Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My vagina is officially offended.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
