don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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