If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
