Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
