After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
