ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
of course. lets lasso hookers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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