when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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