well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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