yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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