The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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