Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
