He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As shirtless as possible
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just had sex on a roof
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
