i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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