That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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