So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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