Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
