3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
no, he came in my armpit
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
