Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
