My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
