Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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