im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
