you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
