Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
