The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
