Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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